Faux For All - stories in homage to The Master
The One Thousand Swingin' Nights For Richard, Lord Buckley
Strippin' The Hipster Somebody Done Rolled Back The Rock
Sweet Swingin' Pete And The Gnasher The Night Before Yulescene
Little Davy The Hep Star Fred and Charlie
The Shooting OF Dan's Guru Tesla Vision
How Lord Buckley Got To Heaven The Big Megilla

Fred and Charlie

by Charles Pike

copyright by Charles Pike 2002, used by permission

yes charlie
what is that stiff doing in the front of the car?
why he occupies the driver seat!
good god man where is he going?

huckita be huckita boo
huckita muckita puckita

beep beep

my god fred i have never seen a dead man
drive with such verocity! where is he headed?

he said he was going all the way!

all the way??
good god man, surely he realizes you
can't get there from here!

the union oil map had a big star
a small scar a gold cigar and
a picture of this car,
he said it doesn't matter where your going,
because wherever you end up
there you jolly well are!

sthat so?

swhat he said.

why the hell won't the man slow down?

if you want to get there
you gots to hurry!

it seems like we are getting no place fast.

nobody can get nowhere any faster!

than tell that steel tailed stud
lay that pedal down

let the big black car ride

we're going nowhere
and we're doing it in style!

let the cars ride
the dogs bark
and the chilluns out of school
we're going on a ride!

for god's sake man,
don't stick that out the window,
a freight train will rip it right off!

woooow woooow!

The Bonnie Prince Charles can be reached at his email address: pikeplace@earthlink.net